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بعد از شونصد دفعه صحبت کردن با مستر عثمان از ترکیه و سنگ قلاب کردن جناب نامبرده با وعده‌های سر خرمن که رئیسم این هفته جواب نامه‌تان را می‌دهد... نه دو هفته ی دیگر پاسخ می‌دهد... امروز کاملا در حد نمنه باهاش صحبت کردم! یعنی تا می‌خواستم مطلبی را بگویم نمیدوانم چرا این مغز لامذهبم کامپلیتلی بلاک می‌شد و یادم می‌رفت چی می‌خواستم بگم و اصلا داشتم می‌گفتم بعد فکر کن مردک فلان فلان شده فکر کرده بود از ذوق اونه که هی مغز من ارور میده برگشته با یه لحن مکش مرگ ما میگه کی میشه بیایید ترکیه و از نزدیک همدیگه رو ببینیم و من حسابی از خجالتتون در بیام؟!!!!!!!! یعنی فقط خدا بهش رحم کرد که مغز من امروز تعطیله وگرنه ............ وگرنه هیچ غلطی نمی‌تونستم بکنم و باید خفه‌خون می‌گرفتم! هرچه باشد من یک کارمند دولت هستم و ناسلامتی می‌بایست مودب بوده و با مودیان خارجی (حتی آن پر رو و پدرسوخته هاش! هم) مث بچه آدم حرف بزنم. درنتیجه فقط تونستم بگم بنده عمرا ترکیه نیومدم و نمیام و نخواهم آمد؛ چرایش هم نان آو یور بیزینس بچه پررو!

yesterday

Looking at the children playing in the park, I was wondering how time flies! How quiet it is, you never feel how fast it goes! Have you ever noticed that? It seems yesterday to me when I was playing, singinig & dancing right in the park. Yesterday! Neither last week nor last month, it was just yesterday! Yesterday when you got happy so easily, when you  were waiting for a wonderful incident to take place; when everyday had a big surprise in it for you and you were waiting for them every minute! There was much news around you. Every time thinking about difficulties, you thankfully understood that there is no serious problem in your life. Forgiving others' mistakes is so simple for you and nobody wants your failure as well. Then you grow up, by adding the numbers to your age which is like the blinking of the eyes (by every blink, you are one year older!) those lovely things one by one will be gone. There is no wonderful happening around you any more, there wouldn't be any news that makes your heart beat faster. Little by little you feel pain and sadness in your heart and get familiar with them, now you understand the sadness & worries in your parents' eyes. Even your close friends have gone now; one immigrated to a foreign country, the other is married to a guy, the next goes to university in another city and you discover that there is only you who remains lonely. Although you are doing your job but you are lonely anyway, cause there is no one whom you can share your feelings with, there is no one!  On the other side, the number of troubles & difficulties increases. You hardly can forgive others' mistakes and so on. Why is it like that? Why can't everything remain just like it was from the beginning? Why? Sometimes (like now) I really miss yesterday; I want to hug it & not let it go, but unfortunately I can't. What a pitty!  

 

P.S: Remember, I don't stick to the past, I just miss it badly! And I don't live for the past either, but whenever I see a child playing in the park, I see myself in that age & this makes me remember those woderful days and wish if I could be seven once more.That's all I was trying to say.